"Fightings within and fears without"

Hymn: "Just As I Am"
Text: Charlotte Elliott (1789-1871)
Tune: WOODWORTH*

Hymn Line: "Fightings within and fears without"

Made popular by the Billy Graham crusades, this great introspective hymn has been typically used as a call to response... invitation hymn in most evangelical traditions. It is a shame that it has been relegated to a singular purpose in corporate worship with all six printed stanzas sung and sometimes repeated until some lost soul responds publicly to the call of Christ to redemption. I say that because those stanzas are replete with wonderful "admissions of guilt" which could be sung or said as a part of the time of confession of sin... not just corporately, but in our personal worship time.

Once upon a time, I tried to use it in a Baptist service as a hymn of confession instead of a hymn of invitation. It was a powerful moment for some of us; for others, the reaction was as if I had used "Away in a Manger" on the Fourth of July!

"Just as I am, tho' tossed about with many a conflict, many a doubt." We are conflicted people. Admit it. The best of us deal with faith-doubt issues. The fact that this hymn is in the first person strengthens its power. "Just as we are..." would water down the impact of the text. In truth, many of us probably sing it as if it were "Just as THEY are..."!

This Hymn Line -- "Fightings within and fears without" -- extends the admission of conflict and doubt in my spiritual life; I am often at war with myself. The forces of evil and temptation attack me from the outside, and fear paralyzes me on the inside.

I am pretty big on the proper use of words in conversation and in print. So often, the words "anxious" and "eager" are wrongfully interchanged. "Eager" indicates that we look forward to something with a positive, hopeful attitude; "anxious" is from the same root as "anxiety," so it is more akin to "dread" of impending danger.

When people say they are anxious about their upcoming wedding, I wonder if they really are dreading their life together. Maybe there is trepidation about the actual wedding DAY with all it involves, but surely they are eager to be joined as one. Perhaps sometimes we are "eagerly anxious"!

Numbing fears make me anxious... more aware of the dangers than the possible rewards... of  impending failure instead of hopeful success.

People of conflict, hear this: The next stanza in this hymn says the Lamb of God will "receive, welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve." I believe Charlotte Elliott has her theology in good order and states well the assurance of pardon for those of us who are conflicted, confused, doubtful, adrift, fighting on the outside and on the inside.

"O Lamb of God, THIS is how I come. Receive me, welcome me, pardon me, cleanse me, give me relief. Amen."


* - I love Phillip Landgrave's TABERNACLE tune, but that one omits this stanza!

Mahalia Jackson sings this hymn: https://youtu.be/tw-g4-DTKfU